Delia Gruntfuttock
Delia Gruntfuttock is a fictional talk show hostess. Character and Appearance Delia is the hostess of a talk show discussing the events of Norwich and Saggers. She is red-haired, well-dressed, and presumably upper class. She claims her show is a 'current events' programme, and it is reminiscent of several review shows, such as Late Review ''or ''Film. It has an ident that is visible in the bottom left corner during her segments, presumably to help distinguish between her vignettes which break up the film itself. 'Gruntfuttock' Delia Gruntfuttock and her talk show, Gruntfuttock, appear twice during the film, interrupting the plot and disrupting the course of the show. The first time she appears is just as Norwich and Saggers have returned to their office to find Sister Mary alive and sitting on the desk; the second time is when Norwich activates the mysterious device and finds himself in a room with God. At the beginning of the second segment, Delia herself apologises to the viewers and explains that due to the 'Waffling on About Absolute Rubbish Act' the filmmakers are contractually obliged to give her time within the film. Delia's Guests During the first segment Delia introduces her panel of guests, including: *Actor Phil Lambert, who plays Bob Saggers in the film *Actor Tony Collins, star of many films such as I Did Your Mum Last Night ''as well as ''What's That in Your Pants? Yes, it is, in Fact, My *****. He plays Ned Reese Cart in the film. *Assistant Director and Director of Photography Kyle Patterson, who also plays Big Pimp Daddy and Thug. His specialist subject is beige floor tiles. *Actor Toby Jones, who plays myriad supporting and background roles. He laments that he didn't get any lines. *Actor Kim Christopher, who plays 999 Operator, and did not sleep with Tony Collins. *Actor Hazel Christopher, who plays Saggers' Mum and other background roles, and also did not sleep with Tony Collins. *Actor and Documentor Andy Isaacs, who plays Garyth Soup, and did sleep with Tony Collins. Although the only fictional character present is Delia herself, the guests appear to be playing comically over-exaggerated versions of themselves. Topics of Discussion Along with her panel, Delia attempts to discuss several topics and themes within the film. Unfortunately due to the rambling nature of her guests, topics often fork off into bizarre tangents. Post-modernism Delia argues that there is a post-modern influence within the film, and several cast members agree. It is interrupted when Toby Jones states "I like sex". He is quickly moved on by Delia. On-set Animal Welfare Delia announces a surprise guest, Continuity Dolphin, to rapturous applause. She discusses with Dolphin the issues of animal abuse within the film. A brief message warning viewers of a nervous disposition to cease watching is shown, followed by footage of members of the cast 'abusing' the dolphin. Patterson, Christopher, Jones, Collins, and other cast and crew are clearly visible at certain points. Delia encourages the cast to speak to Continuity Dolphin and many of them apologise. After protestation from Dolphin, Isaacs snaps back that Dolphin caused friction on set, turned up late for shooting, and called him a ****. Animal Welfare in General Kyle Patterson leads a discussion on bear-baiting, including some tips on how to attract a bear, but once confronted by Delia he admits his dislike for the sport. On-set Experience Delia finally asks each of her guests to sum up their experience on-set in five words. Hazel Christopher asks "Where is our director now?" Toby Jones offers "Education, education, education, fornication and *******ation". After much thought, Kyle says "very very very very nice", Andy Isaacs in contrast offers "Waste of my ****ing time". Kim Christopher answers "brilliant, amazing, funny, lovely, and picturesque". Finally Lambert answers "I am a brilliant man" before adding "slash actor". Tony Collins' thoughts are interrupted by his phone ringing, which he answers much to Delia's dismay, and he angers the cast to such an extent that Hazel pours a glass of water over him. Delia ends the segment, and the show. Closing Thoughts In her closing thoughts, Delia attempts to reflect on the topics of discussions, and reveals that she too in fact did not sleep with Tony Collins. She ends the show by thanking the viewers and bidding them goodnight. The characters are clearly outside of the film's continuity, and are possibly from an alternate universe where Norwich and Saggers are fictional characters. It is unsure what happens to them after the film's climax. Trivia *The name 'Gruntfuttock' was created by Brawny's father, Alan, who plays God within the film. *Continuity Dolphin survived his horrific abuse and now lives with Brawny and his wife.